I’ve noticed that lately, as I finish projects and have some leftover ends, I’m becoming increasingly more interested in the remaining weights of my leftovers — so much so that I’ve finally done something I never thought I’d do: I purchased a food scale so I can weigh my yarn. I confess that this sounds ridiculous even to my ears; real knitters just have this innate sense of where to knit to so that there’s nothing left, right? That’s what I thought, but it seems I don’t have this supposed innate sense myself, and so I need help. To add insult to injury, more and more patterns tell you to knit until you have a certain percentage of weight left, or some other stupid math equation that we both know I have absolutely no interest in solving with my brain. I just want to know the bottom line: will I have enough left to finish the piece I’m knitting? Do I have enough leftover that I can squeeze another project out of that? Aye, there’s the rub.

What does it say about me that my most recent purchase is causing me such knitting joy? I’m not really sure, but I do know that I’m giddy with delight. It makes the whole concept moot: Have or have not. There is no question.

Boy is that a weight off my mind.

I’m reposting something that was originally posted on a Ravelry forum, and I cannot begin to itemize the number of ways this boyfriend got it right and made me LOL. So whomever you are, girlfriend, you have indeed trained him well.

I am not a knitter. I joined Ravelry to see where my girlfriend spends her time on the internet lol. In the 10 or so months that she’s been knitting I’ve been secretly/overtly observing and documenting this crazy thing called yarn and what it does to people. These things I know to be true.

  1. Yarn is NOT string and should not be referred to as such.
  2. Knitting needles are not sticks, stix, or styx.
  3. Casting on is NOT a fishing metaphor.
  4. Yarn comes in different weights, colors, styles. Kind of like drugs.
  5. People dye their own yarn with varying degrees of success.
  6. Knitting is taken everywhere. No exceptions are to be made.
  7. Fun fur is frowned on by “real” knitters.
  8. “Lemme just finish this round” is a lot like me saying “Lemme just finish this round of video games.” Fair enough.
  9. A collection of yarn is a “stash” much like drugs.
  10. Yarn barf is actually a thing.
  11. Ravelry has a weird economy of bartering. Yarn can be exchanged for other goods not related to yarn. ????? Weird.
  12. There are knitting groups, where other like minded knitters knit together and (this part is an assumption) talk about how knitters should rule the world.
  13. Do NOT sit on or around yarn left on the sofa. This will cause knitter in the other room to jump up and rescue said ball of yarn from your evil ass.
  14. Thank goodness there are no shows about knitting on Primetime TV.
  15. Stitch markers are NOT earrings.
  16. Lots of knitters have kittehs. You know who also had them? Witches.
  17. If I want something, “Did you want to go to the yarn store?” are the first words out of my mouth.
  18. Yarn stores are populated by alpha knitters. Some stores are better than others. Michaels is not a suitable substitute for a yarn store.
  19. The needles that are attached with wire to each other, do not make good nunchuks.
  20. Kitteh won’t chase a ball of yarn no matter how many balls you throw at his head.

These things I know to be true.